La la la, hepi bărsdei tu mi, un fel mai bun de a marca aici inceputul anului in care la intrebarea “Cati ani ai?” o sa raspund “Şaptişpe.” nu-mi vine momentan in minte. Stiu ca exista chestia asta pe alte 674318540780 de blog-uri, dar asta nu o face mai putin tare.

P.S. Mi se pare ca devine usor enervanta faza cu scrisul in ingliş, o sa incerc sa ma abtin ceva timp de-acum incolo.
P.S. 2 Stiu ca P.S. se pune de fapt dupa ce ai terminat de scris ceva, dar deh.

Top 100 Facts About Carina Tudor

1. Carina Tudor can speak braille.
2. Once a cobra bit Carina Tudor’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
3. Carina Tudor invented black. In fact, she invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
4. Superman owns a pair of Carina Tudor pajamas.
5. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Carina Tudor says its beef, then it’s beef.
6. Carina Tudor and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
7. Carina Tudor can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
8. Carina Tudor does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Carina Tudor goes killing.
9. Carina Tudor does not believe that there are 50 states, only 2, because where ever she goes becomes a State of Emergency and whenever she leaves, she leaves a State of Destruction.
10. Carina Tudor can delete the Recycling Bin.
11. The word “gay” derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as “He who has not yet been introduced to Carina Tudor.”
12. Carina Tudor sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with her eyes open, and she looks pissed off.
13. Carina Tudor doesn’t read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.
14. Carina Tudor can slam revolving doors.
15. Giraffes were created when Carina Tudor uppercutted a horse.
16. Carina Tudor doesn’t have to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings duck under Carina Tudor.
17. Carina Tudor beat a wall at tennis. Yes. A WALL.
18. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Carina Tudor.
19. Carina Tudor is the only one who can “try this at home.”
20. Carina Tudor died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell her.
21. World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Carina Tudor ate Kobayashi.
22. Carina Tudor does not sleep. She waits.
23. Carina Tudor was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when she managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
24. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Carina Tudor can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck she wants.
25. Carina Tudor’s dog is trained to pick up her own poop because Carina Tudor will not take crap from anyone.
26. Carina Tudor counted to infinity – twice.
27. Carina Tudor can kill two stones with one bird.
28. Carina Tudor always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
29. If you play Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” backwards, you will hear Carina Tudor laughing at you.
30. Carina Tudor is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
31. Carina Tudor was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
32. Carina Tudor can watch a season of “24″ in just three hours.
33. On her birthday, Carina Tudor randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
34. If Carina Tudor wants some shade, she stares the sun down until it eclipses.
35. Carina Tudor has beat the crap out of so many people over her brilliant life that most medical journals now classify her as a laxative.
36. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped Carina Tudor’s house one Christmas.
37. You are what you eat. That is why Carina Tudor’s diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
38. The last man who made eye contact with Carina Tudor was Ray Charles.
39. Carina Tudor invented the hammer when she was tired of using her forehead to slam nails into wood.
40. Carina Tudor can predict the shuffle on her iPod.
41. Carina Tudor’s blood type is WD-40.
42. On a high school math test, Carina Tudor put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. She got an A+ on the test because Carina Tudor solves all her problems with Violence.
43. The end result of the game “Clue” is always the same: Carina Tudor was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
44. Carina Tudor became a vegetarian not because she loves animals, but because she hates plants.
45. Carina Tudor’s family wraps her holiday presents in lead, so she can’t see what’s in them.
46. Carina Tudor had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Carina Tudor went the lamb was sure to go. So she killed it.
47. Getting murdered by Carina Tudor counts as a natural cause of death.
48. Carina Tudor played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.
49. Carina Tudor’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Carina Tudor.
50. The eternal conundrum “what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object” was finally solved when Carina Tudor punched herself in the face.
51. Carina Tudor was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
52. Carina Tudor puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.
53. Carina Tudor irons her shirts while she’s wearing them.
54. Whenever Carina Tudor plays Chutes and Ladders, she treats the chutes as ladders, because she’s not some sissy who can’t climb up a plastic slide.
55. Carina Tudor once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
56. Carina Tudor can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
57. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Carina Tudor allows to live.
58. Carina Tudor was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
59. Carina Tudor used to beat the crap out of her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind her.
60. Carina Tudor can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
61. Carina Tudor once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give her a speeding ticket, however Carina Tudor still pleads her innocence to this day, stating that she was simply out for a morning jog.
62. If you haven’t seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don’t bother, Carina Tudor wins.
63. Carina Tudor is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for her left and right legs.
64. Carina Tudor can make a paraplegic run for her life.
65. Carina Tudor owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped her win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite her holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
66. Carina Tudor doesn’t play “hide-and-seek.” She plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you.”
67. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Carina Tudor has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
68. Carina Tudor wears a cup not to protect herself, but to protect the players on the other team.
69. Carina Tudor once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
70. There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse, because Carina Tudor is going to walk.
71. When Carina Tudor enters a room, she doesn’t turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.
72. Carina Tudor destroyed the periodic table, saying Carina Tudor only recognizes the element of surprise.
73. The popular videogame “Doom” is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Carina Tudor and forgot to pay her back.
74. When Carina Tudor deletes files from her computer, she doesn’t send them to the Recycle Bin. She sends them to hell.
75. Carina Tudor sleeps with a night light. Not because Carina Tudor is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Carina Tudor
76. When Carina Tudor goes to donate blood, she declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
77. When Carina Tudor plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
78. Carina Tudor has the heart of a child. She keeps it in a small box.
79. When Carina Tudor gives you the finger, she’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
80. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Carina Tudor could use to kill you, including the room itself.
81. Crop circles are Carina Tudor’s way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the hell down.
82. The movie Ray is loosely based on the life of Carina Tudor, only they substituted piano playing for eating toddlers, and blindness for the ability to fly.
83. Carina Tudor can tie her shoes with her feet.
84. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that Carina Tudor’s basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
85. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Carina Tudor and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
86. What scientists thought was natural selection is actually only the continued survival of animals Carina Tudor has found too chewy to eat.
87. Carina Tudor is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why she can only kick through doors.
88. Circles exist because Carina Tudor beat the crap out of some squares.
89. Weeping Willows are a result of Carina Tudor yelling at trees for not being tough enough.
90. Only once has Carina Tudor ever cried. The only survivors were a bunch of animals and some dude named Noah.
91. When Carina Tudor gets pulled over she lets the cop off with a warning.
92. Carina Tudor doesn’t have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
93. If at first you don’t succeed, you must not be Carina Tudor.
94. Carina Tudor once stated that she “doesn’t wail on sissy boys.” This led to the pink polo shirts with popped collars craze. Little do those pitiful fools know that Carina Tudor was just making it easier to find sissy boys to wail on.
95. Carina Tudor is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
96. The only time Carina Tudor was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.
97. Onions do not make Carina Tudor cry. Carina Tudor makes onions crap themselves.
98. Carina Tudor does not know where you live, but she knows where you will die.
99. Carina Tudor knows the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow (African *AND* European).
100. Carina Tudor is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.